I came across the blog Messy Dirty Hair written by a pretty California stylist named Kelly.
She has this awesome philosophy on how to embrace our natural beauty and rebuke the pressures put on us girls/women by society.
This was so refreshing to me that I wrote her and asked permission to share her outlook here on my blog.
Here is what I wrote to her.
“I came across your blog yesterday (Through another blog, honestly can’t remember which one!) and LOVE your thinking and attitude on your Messy Dirty Hair blog!! I love what you say about you being the same on the inside whether your hair is done or not!! I hate the mornings for the mere fact of dreading spending the 2 hours of doing hair and make-up to get ready. For what? And who? It’s such a waste of time. My husband hates make-up anyways and loves the tousled ‘just out of the shower look’ but it’s ‘society’ and other females that give me the need to do hair and make up everyday! It was such a breath of fresh air and relief to read your philosophy!!!
I am going to embrace my messy dirty hair and no make up!!! I have felt a weight lifted off of my shoulders already!! THANK YOU!!
I write a blog and would love to have your permission to showcase what you taught me!! Can I post your ‘Embrace The Mess’ page in my blog to show others and of course link it back to you? I would like others girls to see and read your Messy Dirty Hair philosophy. Please let me know if I have your permission! Thank you for being a motivation and positive role model for others!!!!”
I was thrilled when she answered me back with “Of course you can use it!”
So here it is!
EMBRACE THE MESS
“Society tries to tell us we need to be stick thin, with perfect hair & perfect makeup. Well who the hell died & made society king?! I am so sick & tired of the constant pressures there are to be a girl in today’s world. As if it weren’t already hard enough to be a girl we have society passive aggressively whispering in our ears that we need to be skinner, prettier & better. Well that needs to stop & that’s what Messy.Dirty.Hair. is here to do.
I use to be that girl. I would wake up every morning 2 hours before I had to be at school & would shower, dry & straighten my hair stick straight, & then glob on unnecessary makeup. I don’t really know what I was trying to cover up. I did this consistently for years. In college I wasn’t as crazy about it for classes but I’d be damned if I went out to a party or bar that night without being dressed to the nines.
I could not stand the thought of a boy I was dating or even a boyfriend to see me without my makeup on. It was something I never thought I’d ever get over.
And then one day I just stopped.
It started with my hair. I was sick of taking all this extra time to do my hair & for what? It didn’t change me as a person. I was still the same Kelly with or without the straight hair. So why was I doing it? It just started to seem dumb to me. Who was I trying to impress? If you don’t like me for who I am in the inside, the way I look on the outside isn’t going to change that.
So I stopped doing it. I started embracing my curly, wavy beast of a hair. At first I didn’t like it. I thought my face looked fatter with my wavy hair. It was a struggle, until one day I didn’t care anymore. I stopped doing my hair. I started washing it a lot less & let it air dry. That was the first step.
From there I stopped wearing makeup every day. I just didn’t see the point in wasting all this time in front of the mirror trying to look perfect & for what? Now don’t get me wrong, there are times I do like to get dressed up & put on makeup, but it isn’t something I feel I am required to do every morning.
Yes, that’s the word required. It was almost like I use to feel required to do all that stuff because if I didn’t someone would think I looked weird or say “Are you tired?” I’m sure you’ve heard that before. It’s the nice way to say you look like shit.
Well I don’t really care what society says. I am sick of conforming to the pressures of being perfect. Because you know what I realized, no matter how hard I try & no matter how much I spend I will never ever be perfect. No one will.
So today, at age 27 I can finally say & say it with pride that I have no problem going out in public without my hair done or any makeup on. It’s become a way of life for me now – embracing the mess. It’s very rewarding to not care about what I look like and still feel 100% comfortable & secure with myself to go out in public.
With Messy.Dirty.Hair. I have hopes of showing you & the generations to come that we don’t need to strive to be perfect. That it’s ok if your hair isn’t sitting perfectly on your head today or if there’s a small stain on your jeans, or a button is out of place. Or you left the house with a bare face. It’s okay. Be the REAL version of you. Stay true to yourself. Embrace the Mess.” Kelly
So, what do you think? It has already changed my outlook, confidence and simplified my life! When I was working, I dreaded getting ready every day, I would start stressing over it the night before. I put so much pressure on myself to look good for others. I felt it was expected. That no one would like me unless I was ‘pretty and perfect.’ That thinking stole my joy.
My husband has never liked make-up on me, and doesn’t like when I straighten or put any ‘effort’ into my hair. He likes the natural look on me, he calls it the ‘Slutty Rocker Hair’ and says I’m beautiful that way! He is my biggest fan!! Yet, I would ‘buck’ what he liked for society. And ruin and damage my hair by straightening it when I’m naturally wavy. I love how Kelly of Messy Dirty Hair says “It didn’t change me as a person. I was still the same Kelly with or without the straight hair. So why was I doing it? It just started to seem dumb to me. Who was I trying to impress? If you don’t like me for who I am in the inside, the way I look on the outside isn’t going to change that.!”
So, I am going to simplify my life and start ‘embracing my mess ala Kelly at Messy Dirty Hair!’
I have already felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders and the stress I had for getting ready every day is gone!
By the way Kelly is also a professional stylist and in today’s post shows 3 fantastic ‘day to evening’ quick changes and ideas that anyone can do. If I knew her in real life I’d want her as a best friend! So go on over to Messy Dirty Hair, poke around and be inspired!! I did and was!! xo